Monday, April 26, 2010

Time for a change!

For the past four months my work has put a team together and has been training for the OKC National Memorial Marathon.  Starting in January I was a big part of that team until I started having issues with my shins/legs.  It wasn't what you would call shin splints but it felt a bit worse and made it hard to walk.  The pain lasted me about a month and after calling my doc and even talking to a person at New Balance they both told me that my muscle was pulling away from the bone and if I kept running I was going to cause permanent damage.  Not cool. 
Working with several survivors of the bombing and two being in our running group I was really let down when I felt like I couldn't be a part of the team anymore.  I still wanted to give back per say...and be there to experience it all.  So...I took on the 5K.  All in all, Yeah, I probably could have kept going and continued my training with the group but  I was  worried that I wouldn't be able to run.  Running is something I have always hated.  Not my kind of thing but it is something I wanted to tackle...on my bucket list you could say. 

Yesterday was the Marathon and while it was exciting it was really depressing being a part of the "team" but not sharing the accomplishment with them.  Sure, i wore the same blue Memories in Motion shirt with them and yeah, I even got to get in group pics but I still felt like I was the one who gave up.
I've always been the one to listen to doctors and other people even if its news I didn't want to hear.  That is one thing I really need to work on.  If that was the case and doctors are always right then I would have died 10 days after I got cancer, or I would have never succeeded in school because teachers didn't think I had it in me.  I've proved them wrong, so why can't I prove these other people wrong?

So, then I started thinking... did i just give up easy because the National Memorial Marathon wasn't something near and dear to my heart like it was for the survivors who were on our team?  Maybe. Or, did I just not think I could do it?  Probably that too.  But after experiencing the marathon yesterday and seeing old, young, fat, skinny and everything in between...YES, I could have done it.

Another thing that really inspired me after being at the marathon yesterday was the Leukemia Lymphoma's Team in Training.  It really hit home with me and made me think that this could be the thing that pulls at my heart and makes me want to run no matter how bad it hurts.  My nine years cancer free date is just one week week away and I would LOVE more than anything to train this year and dedicate my 10 year's cancer free celebration to the Team in Training.  Not only for myself as a survivor but for those who have passed and survived. 
I'll keep you-my lovely readers- updated on my status.  I meet at the Leukemia Lymphoma Society May 4th for a meeting to discuss Team in Training.  I'm looking forward to this!